My most inspired, positive, clear-perspective thinking happens on the highway (bonus points if it’s a Sunday or a Monday, which today is), and I’ve found myself on a roadtrip back to Chattanooga from Franklin with a vanilla latte and a full computer battery. All this typing is probably going to make me sea-sick, but my journal is in the depths of my suitcase (if I even remembered to pack it), and my thoughts feel like a waterfall.
I got in the car about an hour ago after a long weekend at home. Two out of my three roommates are from my hometown, and since the snowpocalypse has made travel tricky, we cut class Friday and headed to the safety of family pets, familiar routines, and as I like to call it- “dinner I did not pay for or make”- the best kind of dinner. Presently, we are on our way back to school in Chattanooga talking about plans for summer. I’m suddenly realizing I am capable of- and want to be- doing something amazing with my time for the Kingdom and also for myself.
Some of the ideas we tossed around for this summer include being camp counselors several states away, doing mission trips worldwide, working on farms, and the classic “stuck in the air conditioning at a mall job” job. For the last 30 minutes, I’ve been studying up on the possibilities of getting paid to take care of horses and take kids trail riding every day of the week for six weeks at a christian summer camp. (I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned it on here, but horses are a love of mine). Possibly my dream summer job. However, my introverted, desperate-for-daily-affirmation-and-affection heart carefully considers the realities of spending six weeks six hours away with less than six people that I know (maybe 2… tops). And all at once I am unsettled.
Now, I’ve only known about this option for 45 minutes. The thought of spending a summer with kids and horses in the sunny Ozark mountains has already interested me and inspired me enough to want to write something. However, I’m simultaneously shutting it down as an option because I wouldn’t have many close friends with me. But as I write all these worries, I’m realizing that even though God might not be calling me to this particular camp- or any camp at all- He would be with me no matter where I go, and He knows me better than even I know myself. He knows better than I do what scares me the most and what I think I need. He also knows why my heart is that way, how He’s going to use it, and that He is the solution to every bit of instability that my heart could possibly feel.
This afternoon, I’m just really thankful that My Jesus is Emmanuel- God With Us. No matter where I go, for however long, even if it’s scary… my heart is known, loved, and in the company of the Creator of it all.
In that case… bring it on, summer 2015.